I admit, I’ve been lax in posting, but dealing with my father’s terminal illness has made me trim my focus. I’ve been working on my book and going back and forth to the nursing home, of course there’s that family of mine. They do need attention…
But on one of my father’s last lucid days, we had a conversation about my writing. He knows how hard I’ve been working at it over the years and he made me promise him something.
“Promise me you’ll never give up,” he said.
“I’m not planning on it,” I told him. I’ve been at this too long, and while I’ve been tempted, I always go back. I’m a writing junkie.
“No. You have to promise me. There are too many things I didn’t do. Too many things I gave up on and I regret it. Don’t have any regrets. You will never have regrets if you do everything you can to succeed.”
Which got me thinking. Have I been giving my writing my all? My everything? Sure, I have a job and a family, but when I write am I doing my best? I always tell my students to do their best. I expect it of my own children, but have I been practicing what I preach?
Wham. Talk about a slap upside the head.
Don’t get me wrong–I’ve been working and making progress, but I knew I could step it up a notch. Hell, I could have stepped it up a couple of notches. So, I have. I’ve been making some great changes and I found a hook for this series that has made people cry.
Now, when I sit with my dad and try to calm his agitation, or help him take a few sips of soup, I feel confident I can keep my promise to him. I think he knows it, too.
Writing this post was a first step. I backed off the blog a little when kids at school found out about my writing life. As I’ve said before, I never felt it was a secret, but some really immature students have continued to make a joke out of what I do. And it bothered me. I shouldn’t have let it, but I did.
But now, I’m done.
I am going to do my best to succeed and have no regrets. You see, I’m not a quitter. I don’t know how. I’m going to keep writing. I’m going to keep working and I am going to keep my promise to my father.
That’s who I am. That’s what I’m dedicated to. What about you?
You did a huge favor to all of us with this post. After I wiped my tears from thinking of you with your dad, I asked myself if I was really giving it my all and doing my best. I asked if I was letting the hard parts take over and letting them get me down. And while I haven’t quit, I keep finding reasons to let things go and slack off when deep down I know I shouldn’t. Thanks for the reminder that I can’t give up. Bravo to you for keeping your promise. Your biggest writing successes are coming and I can’t wait to see it happen! I’m thinking of you and your dad. xx
Like you I can step in up a notch too. Thanks for the kick.
We should all be like the little engine that could.
Since my mom died in April, I haven’t wanted to do ANYTHING. Everything feels like a chore. Work. Too much effort.
I managed to finish my WIP. I haven’t blogged. I feel disconnected. Off-line. I have not given any part of my life my all these last few months.
And then, I picked up the ARC of my book. I haven’t really looked at it since April. I re-read the dedication that my mother didn’t get to see. It reminded me that I’m getting to do something I love.
I’m forcing myself to continue writing each night. Occasionally, I feel that spark of rightness as I get lost in my words. It’s not all the time. It’s not every time. But it’s still there.
I just have to dig deeper to find it.
I feel like writing is one of those things that’s almost like a calling….I couldn’t NOT write even if someone tried to make me. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have times where we do it more often or more successfully than others, right? Not everyone can hole up and write all day, every day as most of us have other responsibilities. (And those who don’t—I wonder how much they have to say!)
Point is, you’re compelled to write. I know you are. And you’re damn good at it. Know that, too. Ain’t no one gonna put Jeannie in the corner, least of all some punk!
Guessing your dad knows that?
And you do, too.
Waiting impatiently for my next MSS to read……*taps muffin top impatiently…..
If you forget that promise to your dad, l’m going to be one of those people who remind you. You have too much talent and heart not to keep at it. You’re going to succeed, Jeannie; it’s going to happen. Listen to that very smart and loving man and do your damnedest!
This is too true. I LOVE that he told you that. It’s amazing how our parents impart such wisdom even in our adulthood. He’s a very smart man. And yes, I find posting on my blog a way to get back into the swing of things when I’m running out of fuel. I just try to always have fun with it. I’m thinking his advice is resonating with all of your writing friends. Thank you for sharing it, Mr. Moon
Thanks for sharing this with us, Jeannie. I don’t have anything profound to add, especially after all the wonderful comments you’ve already received on the topic. So, I’ll focus on answering your question.
I’ve been pretty good about balancing my focus between day job, family, and writing these past two months, but I know I could kick it up a notch when it comes to getting my work out there. I know that fear holds me back at times, but I’ll overcome it–just as you have.
Dedication to your craft is the best gift you can give your dad though I know how this time of anxiety might draw you away from it. My grandmother was my loudest, most outrageous cheerleader. When she passed away, my writer’s soul went with her. That’s the last thing she would have wanted. We owe it to the people we love to do our best to be happy. For people like us, that means what you’ve said here – putting our all into our writing. I’m so glad you found your drive and will not let the opinion of others deter you. You’re too good for that. Besides, you have a promise to keep. <3
What a wonderful gift your father has given you. So many writers I speak to say their family members think they’re “cute” for writing a novel. You’re a beautiful person, and a beautiful writer and deserve to have your dreams come true.
And we’re here to drive you crazy until they do
*stands* *applauds*
Your father is a wise man, and he’s given you a gift. Thanks so much for sharing his words with us, Jeannie.
Your father is a wise man.
My dad was always a glass full kind of man. He wasn’t a complainer, and accepted his lot in life. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t want better. His words are going to help me stay focused on the goal.
I owe it to everyone who has ever supported my work to give this my best. I owe it to myself. Thanks for the comments, ladies. He is a wise man.